I have always been fascinated by spinning toy tops. Call me weird or random, but I love how much control you have over them. Spin them lopsided and sooner than later they will fall over. Spin them slow, spin them fast...stop them mid spin and change their direction. I was pondering life and tops last night in a fit of insomnia and got a mental image of people as related to tops. Imagine Heavenly Father sitting at a large table with millions of spinning tops stretched before him. Some are spinning slow, starting to lean to one side getting ready to stop. Some are going fast, some a little lopsided. Imagine Him stopping one mid spin and sending it off in another direction, just for kicks.
Sometimes I feel like a spinning top (I know, I know, "But I thought you were a pineapple!"). Life has changed directions many times the past few years. It has slowed down, sped up, gotten a little off kilter now and then, but in the end I just keep chuggin along. Then there are the times when I feel like the Lord has stopped things and started spinning me backwards. Six weeks ago this happened.
I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.
The only reason I took the test was because the day before, we were supposed to do a blood drive for our church and as we walked in the door I was attacked by waves of nausea that I usually can only attribute to morning sickness. I decided not to donate blood that day and could not shake that weird nausea for several hours. I even risked the "deer in the headlights" look on Chad's face and mentioned that it felt a lot like morning sickness. I figured that if I was, it was still pretty early and may not show up for several more days...but what the hey, the box had two tests in it so I could always take the second one later. Imagine my extreme shock when the little digital display said "YES". Could have knocked me over pretty easily at that moment!
Anyway, to make a long story short...I am now ten weeks and two days along. The past six weeks have been a real blur between baseball and exhaustion and nausea...but they have passed by in a "whirl". I am still nervous to make this announcement, based on my last experience, but this time around has been a lot different, and the baby looks pretty healthy. A major symptom that I always get is a strong gag reflex, especially when I brush my teeth. Last time I didn't gag at all, right up until the nine week mark when we found out that the heart had stopped. This time I even think about brushing my teeth and I gag...I almost did a happy dance the first time it happened! I am not a puker, but I have spent many hours on the couch lately, nauseated and miserable...which I was also pretty thrilled about. There is still that little seed of worry at the back of my mind though. We haven't told many people other than family because it made for some pretty awkward situations last time around.
I find it pretty ironic that people came up to me three months after the miscarriage to ask about the baby when I didn't look pregnant anymore (at least I didn't think so), and yet nobody has said a word even though I have had a hard time hiding it for the past several weeks! Life is funny that way.
The Lord has found many ways over the years to humble me for having a big mouth with little or no verbal filter. Case in point: I have lamented for the past several years about what a stressful and expensive month December is for the McGhie household. With our anniversary on the 9th, my birthday on the 11th, and Blake's birthday on the 31st, it gets hectic. Add to that Christmas on the 25th and a few million class Christmas parties and Church events and we are tapped out financially and physically. Just to prove that He does in fact have a sense of humor, I am sure you can pretty much guess the due date...
That's right, it is 12-31-10...which will put us at a c-section date of a few days before Christmas. Hopefully we'll be home in time to watch the boys open their stockings...that is if Chad can swallow his inner Grinch and put them together for them! If that doesn't just getting me laughing hysterically and rocking myself in a corner, there is the fact that I am already stressed about buying Christmas presents for the boys (and it is only June!) and where in the world we are going to put this tiny new person in this small house!!
Things are going to work out just fine though, I can keep it together. We are thrilled to be the recipients of this kind of early Christmas gift, who wouldn't be? We finally told the boys last week and they are pretty thrilled too. Blake graciously offered to share his birthday and vigorously looked through the baby name book....the boy section of course, and picked out his all time favorite, Duke. We'll have to see about that one. Of course, it is right up there with Chad's all time number one favorite, Yale, which I have violently vetoed for the past three boys and will continue to do so.
So there you have it. You may not have seen my top spinning in public recently, or even much on this blog...but it is still spinning along, maybe a little more lopsided with some more weight distributed in the front, but spinning nonetheless!
